You know this, this blogging lark for these lovely people, all began for me last year when I saw a call for contributions to the CSTOnline website which, I think was called, What Are We Watching? This then became a semi-regular portal into the life of me and my family as well as some not bad jokes, a few corny lines and occasional lapses into me talking about female actors and cheese. I think most of you, or definitely Andrew Pixley (hey Andrew!), know who MDBJ, Sweep and STG are and are probably aware of the large rabbit upstairs and, if you read the last blog, then you’ll know about the puppy as well – this of course assumes that this blog is published after the other one I’ve written. Don’t worry, there’ll be a puppy photo at some point in this one as well. In fact, why keep you waiting? Here’s Stanley, disappointingly not looking at the telly but also not sitting on the couch as he is not allowed on the couch (but he is allowed on me):

Fig. 1: Meet Stanley

So there we are. That’s us pretty much up to date in terms of animals (and humans), my mum is still in the same care home she was, which is still not giving her the care she needs (for over £1500 a week, thanks) and I still only see her through the window (and that was a very distressing experience for everyone last time). Dad has just turned 86 and frankly, looks really tired of everything just now. [1] I’m still working on the GOALD project and am about to start using some tech stuff and get some written work out about the whole shebang fairly soon and, as you know from the other blog (or you don’t yet know), I’m also still doing my other job as much as possible even when the dog licks the couch. [2]

Anyway, what have we been watching? Ready for a list? Ok, here we go: so TBN (you remember this one yeah? That Bloody Netflix) has some decent stuff on it and, after having a Now TV subscription for the Lions tour over the summer I got offered the movie channels for £2.99 a month for three months so took that and have finally seen some of the movies that UGs were talking about when I was last teaching (and have been going on about on twitter and the like). So, here’s a few recommendations/reactions to some of the stuff that’s been in front of my face over the last few months.

Joker – de Niro pops up in a gritty almost remake of The King of Comedy. That’s what it is. Quite good though and certainly gave me a laugh, boom-boom!

Daybreak (TBN, 2019) – Ferris Bueller comes full circle and plays High School Principal. Just like he did in Election (Payne, 1999) but this time he eats kids in a post-apocalyptic blahblahblah…it was ok, decent enough and we got all the way through it.

Clarkson’s Farm (AFP, 2021) – horrific, horrid old man behaves irresponsibly and gets away with it. We forced ourselves to watch it to see how much worse he would get and he really does get worse but still there do not appear to be any consequences for the millionaire presenter. At least James May went to Japan and learned stuff. No idea what the other one did, Stewart Lee was spot on about him though. [3]

The Kominsky Method (TBN, 2018-2021) – ok, this was quite interesting and spoke to me on a number of levels, not least the out of work actor who teaches for income (quiet at the back there). But the big problem that this had was the third season – so SPOILER ALERT – had a lack of Alan Arkin. And that hurt the balance of the show and it ended about as strongly as a thing that is not very strong at all and misses an acerbic, wry, mildly grumpy sense of humour.

Family Business (Gotesman, 2019) – French butcher family falls into marijuana production as France relaxes its laws. Hilarity ensues. Disappointing lack of Audrey Fleurot which I’ve emailed them about. A number of times (don’t tell MDBJ). [4]

Birds of Prey (Yan, 2019) – Highly enjoyable film that more people need to watch. Actually really. It was pretty good and we think we’ve persuaded STG to watch it.

Wonder Woman 1984 (Jenkins, 2020) – Look, it still isn’t about her it’s about him. Sort that out, ok?

Just breaking the list here as I just logged into TBN to do a quick history (I just don’t remember half the stuff we sit through on there) and they have a new category called ’90 Minute Comedies’ – ARE THEY ACTUALLY LISTENING TO ME? THIS IS SINISTER, SCARY STUFF PEOPLE!!!! Oooh, they’ve got season 9 of Modern Family now, ok, that’s next week sorted. [5]

Where was I? Oh yes, and we also watched more stuff on the iPlayer. This is probably going to be a bit controversial and I expect there will be some reaction to the following statement about a show that the BBC made, or were at least involved in making. A show that has not really divided opinion as much as shown that if people love something then you’d better not mess with it at all as you’ll get it wrong and it’ll be rubbish and why have you even bothered and for crying out loud who let you do this and just why, why, why? And I’m putting my cards on the table here and telling you that I am a fan of the original works and when the creator of them died I was actually upset at the news as it meant that he couldn’t write any more about the world he created and the characters who speak to me and that I’ve lived with for decades. I’m not beating about the bush, ok? I really like Terry Pratchett’s Discworld books and have done since I read my first one (it was Mort and it would have been ‘87/88, I think) and I drop lots of his jokes in and around the place to see who gets them as it means we’ll most likely get along. But here’s the statement (and I’m prepared to risk my figgin being placed on a spike for this):

 

I quite liked The Watch (BBC, 2021)

 

Okay, where am I going with this? What do you think? Did you see it? Are you a fan of the source material? If you are, honestly, did you get really angry? I did. I did before I’d seen a single second of it, even before I’d seen a single frame or publicity shot and it was because, well, twitter and my reaction being less than considered. Because that story, that world, those beings are mine, dammit! [6]

And that’s fine as that’s how fans react and we know this thanks to Hills and Jenkins and Brooker and so on and so on. But if we wander out of the hallowed groves of academe (it’s worth it, honest[7]) and consider what some other writers think then we can approach this kind of heresy anew. And you all know that as I called it heresy there I’m still sticking to my original reaction (to an extent) and that lets me down straightaway. Anyway, here we go, ready? So I resisted this on the twitter until I saw someone I know and have worked with a lot and who I know is also a big fan of Pratchett’s work go off on one about the show and I thought, genuinely thought, hang on – that’s doing a huge disservice to the people that worked on the show, whether they were on or off camera. And then I looked at other twitter posts about it and thought that lots of the people here had not seen all of it and had had the Brian reaction.[8]

And that’s fine. Because, they got stuff wrong. They got Gaspode wrong. And he was not on screen enough. They got Angua wrong; well the casting anyway, as, in my mind she’s more like Silje Torp than Marama Corlett.[9]

Fig. 2: Silje Torp (source: Twitter)

Fig. 3: Marama Corlett (source: Twitter)

They got Vimes wrong (a bit). They got Sybil wrong but by crikey it worked gloriously well for the show. [10] They got the setting wrong. Vetinari was wrong. All the stuff, all the people, all the music with rocks in, all the layers, all of it was wrong and all the trolls hated it. [11]

But, and here’s the thing, I still liked it. Because it isn’t real. And because it isn’t real it shouldn’t be important. It was, I think, Mark Gatiss who was asked about his reaction to the Twilight books and what he thought of what Meyer had done with vampires and so on. And his response was, and I’m paraphrasing here, that it was brilliant because vampires aren’t real, they’re just stories. And as they are stories, you as a writer can do what you want with them. Because it doesn’t matter if it isn’t real.

So, The Watch is not real and it is pretty upfront about its heritage and says its inspired by Pratchett not based on Pratchett. And that is fine. A thing that isn’t real is inspired by a thing that isn’t real. And as it isn’t real, who gets hurt? And another thing that may be worth reflecting on is that this series is inspired by Pratchett’s creation which, according to MDBJ, means his work is becoming folklorific, his work is now being changed and moulded as stories, the really good, basic stories have been for centuries by people. So, if nothing else then we could say that Pratchett is now not only held in the highest regard (and ‘protected’) by his legions of fans but he is also now the inspiration behind new works that take his ideas, his thoughts, his seeds and plant them to try to create something new. And that new thing did not always work – it was fun to see the bits of the books they were inspired by and play a kind of weird Pratchett bingo – but when it did it was actually ok. And MDBJ liked it, and as we know, she hasn’t read the books. But now she does want to. And that has to be worth something as well, surely?

Oh, and this happened too. Wee bugger knows when he’s caught, eh?

Fig. 4: Stanley, who is a really good boy.

 

John Ritchie is a Post-Doc Research Fellow and works as an actor and has two kids, a stupidly large rabbit and a puppy with no off switch. He’s so busy he had to eat yogurt with a fork recently as there was no time to rectify the lack of cutlery. Always make sure you have cutlery kids.

 

Footnotes

[1] We got him a surprise a while ago. There’s a bakery in St. Andrews, Cupar and Dundee called Fisher and Donaldson – if you know you know, ok? Anyway, he used to love the Black Forest Gateaux from there so one day when we were in that neck of the woods we bought one for him. A whole one, as they are frozen. I’ve never seen such an emotional response from my father as when he opened his eyes for that surprise. We should have recorded it, really.

[2] It’s a new couch. The children were given clear and simple instructions on how to behave around it and near it. Took them less than half an hour to ruin it (and I mean actually ruin it – with nail varnish) and I, well, MDBJ had to be calmed and soothed quite a lot. I was fine other than a mild sense of defeat about stuff. It’s still comfy and new and shiny. Very shiny in one place, in fact.

[3] Google that one yourself.

[4] Ah, Audrey Fleurot. Bet some of you thought I wasn’t going to mention her, eh? Did I ever tell you I once danced with Julie Christie at a wedding? Not really related to this but you’d be amazed at how many men of a certain age get quite interested when they hear that.

[5] Ok, we started it last night. I like it. Consistently funny.

[6] Except they’re not. They’re really, really not. I had nothing to do with their creation. NOTHING.

[7] It really is worth it. You should the emails I get from Kim and Toby of this parish. Lovely people, filthy senses of humour. Let’s just say not so much near as completely beyond the knuckle, ok?

[8] Come on, you know this one. ‘And tell me Archbishop, have you seen the film, Life of Brian?’ and the answer is, of course, “no, and I don’t want to because I’m told it is filth and heresy!”

[9] Corlett won me over by the end of the second episode as I basically stopped sulking and watched the show and she is really good in it.

[10] I’m not going into the differences between Sybil in the books and the show as they are writ large but I will say that the change for the show was absolutely brilliant in context of the rest of the show. And that takes skill. However it does take away a character who, in the books, is a formidable older woman and I don’t remember there being too many of them in the show which is a bit crap really in terms of representation and female actors over 40 getting work…

[11] Except Detritus. But they got his story arc wrong too.